You Damn Kids
By Adam Hill
Recently I found myself afflicted by ponderation. (I know, not a word... yet.)
I began to wonder, “at what point did I decide that I have the right to call people younger than myself “kids”. And when did these “kids” become inconsiderate, crude little bastards who develop interest in only awful things?”
I have been noticing more than ever that I have little in common with the youth of today. And it’s not just the youth, I've begun to notice that people as young as 21 or 22 are following these ridiculous things. Maybe it’s not just the kids? Maybe it’s everybody?
Or has a new generation simply sprung from directly behind me? Or, maybe, I am out of touch?
Either everyone is stupid or I am “un-cool”. Now, we can reject the latter because it’s just plain laughable. I am very cool (just ask my mother). So lets take a closer look at why everyone else is stupid.
WTF? (That’s right I’m down with the lingo) Gaga is ridiculous! I am sick and tired of being told she is the new Madonna… Madonna’s music sucked and Gaga’s music sucks harder! While I may inadvertently find myself tapping my toes to the odd beat or two, I don't understand this phenomenon at all.
Apparently she is some sort of fashion revolution and an obscure form of post-modernism. Or in other words “she’s freaking weird!”
If you dress like this woman you may turn heads but this will be because they are turning to giggle behind your back or contemplate to what degree they would like to cook your outfit.
I like my steak like I like my nutjobs: rare.
Yes, playing at a gig completely naked just to attract the audience's attention is impressive and some might find it appealing that she wants to ride their disco stick, which is simply the worst metaphor ever (not everybody takes a pogo stick when they go clubbing). These things actually raises more questions about her character. This woman might actually be insane.
While this craze was short lived, it definitely left me scratching my head. Basically, for anyone who was lucky enough to miss it, planking was a craze that, for a couple of weeks, took the world by storm. This craze involved idiots, television personalities and other desperate attention seekers laying perfectly still in places that would previously be thought inappropriate to lay down for example a police car, in trees, or, sadly, precariously balanced on the railing of a balcony. (Check out episode 2 of Senseless Thinking: Out Loud )
Was I the only one that didn’t find the fact that somebody died funny? This craze proved my father wrong because obviously most of society would jump off a cliff if everybody else was doing it. I know this “craze” is over, and I know that it was only a fad, but why was it a fad? And why do things like this amuse people so much? And perhaps more troubling, what's next?
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